The Time Zack Morris Stabbed Screech In The Back To Hook Up With Lisa


♪ Zack Morris is trash ♪
(bell ringing) – [Narrator] Kelly bothers
Zack with a drink he ordered. She wonders about life after graduation. – Hopefully, I’ll be at college,
living in a sorority house. – [Narrator] Zack, once
again, mistaking any building with women for a brothel. Screech bought Lisa a gift in a final push to win her heart before school ends. Everyone politely explains, at this point, he should give up, everyone but Zack. – Don’t listen to them, if you like Lisa, go for it, don’t give it up. – [Narrator] The recruiter from
Lisa’s dream fashion college is flying in, she needs to impress her. Zack suggests a fashion show. What’s his angle, and how
will Lisa pull it off? – We’ll all help you. – [Narrator] The Zack
Morris kiss of death. Screech gives Lisa her gift. It’s real gold, with
something special inside. Zack allocates all the sewing
manual labor to the ladies. Him and Slater will find
a venue for the show and handle other details. – Interview the models. – [Narrator] So that’s his angle. Lisa needs this to go well, as her entire future hangs on this event. Zack booked The Max to
host Lisa’s show, you know, that place they’ve had
fucking everything for years. Great work, lot of hustle. He also booked Screech as the announcer. Lisa objects, Screech
doesn’t know fashion. – I’ll be writing everything
he’s gonna say, trust me. – [Narrator] Lisa, please,
think about what you’re going to say next.
– Okay. – [Narrator] Oh, goddammit. Lisa’s working on designs,
like this Magic Eye shirt. Stare long enough, and
you see a douchebag. Zack lies and says these
ugly clothes are very good. And don’t forget him when she’s famous. – I could never forget you, Zack. – [Narrator] I hear that, sister. But when Lisa goes in for a goodnight hug, Zack makes a beeline for
smooch city, then says nothing, leaving her confused
when she needs to focus. Lisa thinks the kiss was
just a clumsy mistake. Jessie says premeditated
is Zack’s middle name. Jessie breaks the news to Kelly, who giggles that her blonde
problem is now someone else’s. Lisa doesn’t think Zack
was coming on to her, overlooking his incessant
trust me language and egregious flattery. Zack’s in a robe, telling women to smile. This can’t end well. Lisa’s nervous at showtime,
Zack says the word every woman loves to hear.
– Relax. – [Narrator] Which does not work. Zack decides now is the perfect moment to talk about last night. Zack’s mumbling, maybe it’s time they take things to a hand job level, when Lisa says the kiss was nice, but more importantly, thanks
for helping with the show. – I love working for you. – [Narrator] Not proper employee conduct. Zack makes a move, knowing Screech is here and could see them. Screech sees them and is obliterated. Zack’s wearing Lisa’s pants
that are fortunately equipped with a retching hide-in fabric walls. Lisa greets the recruiter
and hands it over to Screech, who is in emotional apocalypse. Screech takes out his
heartache on Lisa’s designs, airing his misery for everyone to hear. Zack goes off-script to yell at Screech for going off-script. – Thank you, Zack, for destroying my life. – [Narrator] I hear that, sister. The show’s ruined because
Zack decided to get horny during what should have
just been a conversation. But despite Zack’s best efforts
to demolish Lisa’s future, her clothes won over the recruiter. Jessie found Screech’s note for Lisa. It’s a beautiful letter
of love and good luck. Zack, to make himself feel
better, goes to find Screech. He corners him, Screech asks for space, Zack does not oblige. Screech distances himself,
Zack selfishly follows, then makes this great excuse. – I didn’t even know what was happening. – [Narrator] He never accepts
responsibility or says sorry. Screech, shattered, wants
to fight Zack after school, knowing he’ll lose, because
that’s the only kind of shit Zack’s primal
caveman mind understands. Zack scoffs at Screech and
enjoys that he drove him insane. – Guess that kiss really shook him up. – [Narrator] Lisa’s trying to talk about their developing
complicated relationship. Zack makes a not-so-subtle
pitch for boning. – That feels good inside. – [Narrator] Zack tries
to back out of the fight that’s fully his fault. Screech labels him a coward, accurate. Slater intervenes, but
Screech is out of his mind and in the kind of pain
where it might be nice to get your ass beat,
just to feel anything. Zack diffuses things
by scream apologizing. – Sorry I hurt you, all right? – [Narrator] Scream
apologizing is not a thing. Screech exposes Zack for
knowingly picking Lisa, of all girls, then exposes
one of his stupid titties. Zack says if he knew it would bother him, he wouldn’t go out with her, a conclusion he could
have come to earlier. Lisa does what she should
have done years ago. She stops being mean, and gets honest. They’ll never be an item, but
her and Zack like each other. Screech puts his anguish
aside to be the bigger man, and gives their blossoming
romance his blessing. Except that’s the last we hear or see of Zack and Lisa dating, ever. Seriously, are you fucking kidding me? Let’s review, Zack Morris saw
his best friend hopelessly in love with Lisa for years. Instead of telling him to move on, told him to keep going,
then offered to help with Lisa’s show just to prey on models. When there were no
models, he preyed on Lisa, then sexually targeted
her at her most vulnerable and broke his buddy’s heart
into a million pieces, with no regard for how
this might impact the show and Lisa’s chances at college. Instead of giving him
space or apologizing, pestered Screech with non-excuses that pushed him deeper
into rage-fueled insanity. Then used Lisa to force Screech into accepting the relationship he had no intention of seriously pursuing. So all of Screech’s pain was for nothing. Zack Morris is trash. ♪ Zack Morris is trash ♪
(bell ringing)

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