Arin: Hey I’m Grump! Dan: I’m not so Grump! Both: And we’re the Game Grumps! Arin: Hey Everybody! Dan: Yaaay! Arin: Welcome to Kirby- Arin: Nonono. Not file 1, file 2. Dan: Okay. I fucked it up. I FUCKED IT UP! Arin: You gotta go to file two so we can start a new game Cause I have 79% on my game that I’ve already played. Dan: Oh yeah. Arin: I ADORE this fucking game! Dan: Can I make a little confession? Arin: Yeah. Dan: I’ve never played a Kirby game before. Arin: Ever? Dan: Ever. Dan: Isn’t that amazing? Arin: Wow Dan: I fuckin’ – I was always wrapped up in- Game: Welcome to dreamland Dan: (Gasps) Thank you! Arin: Uh… Kirby gets sucked up into a world full of yarn. Dan: Done! (Both laugh) Dan: No I was always playing Final Fantasy and… Secret of Mana and… all those types of games. And just… Kirby got lost in the shuffle somehow. But GOD! It’s so lovely! Arin: Yeah. Well… this is not a typical Kirby game. Dan: Okay Arin: This is…Kind of… Well it was supposed to be a game about Prince Fluff. Dan: Right. Arin: And then they were just like, “Eh he looks enough like Kirby!” Might as well make it a Kirby game. Dan: Yeah, let’s do that. Arin: So we go to patch castle. Let’s go place. (In cute voice) Go place. Dan: We played this game for about three minutes before uh… we started the episode. It’s impossible to be in a bad mood when you’re playing this game. Arin: Yeah, fuckin’- Dan: You’re just like, “FUCKIN’ GOD- Awwwww yaay” Arin: Yeah. Arin: The whole time I think you were just- it was… I think your entire vocabulary was… “Oh my god~” Dan: Oh god, everything! Everything makes you feel so good! Look at the little car he turns into! Arin: So you can grab these little guys… and wrap them up into these little balls of yarn… and THROW’em at blocks! Dan: Oooh! Jesus in heaven. Arin: So you want to grab another one. Oh. Whoops I destroyed him. Dan: How can I grab on- Arin: You can grab and hold- You can’t grab the ones that are filled. Dan: Oh okay. Arin: So go ahead and grab him. Press and hold Alright now bring him up… Over here…and then… Throw him- throw him up at the jewel. Dan: Oh! Arin: So we want to get all the jewels in the level. So that we can get a gold medal. Dan: Oh yeah up on the- So we have a bronze medal now? That’s what’s happening? Dan: OH NOW WE”RE LITTLE FISH! Arin: Yeah~ Dan: CHRIST! Arin: A little submarine! (giggles) Arin: It’s too cute. Dan: It’s so fucking happy! Arin: Yeah. Arin: Just makes me want to sing. Dan: I’m so… uh… Dan: Aw NO! Arin: Oh I know he’s all scared. Dan: Aw don’t be scared! I’m just gonna fuckin’… Destroy you. Arin: Turn you into fucking yarn like the bitch that you are. Arin: Hey I got the chandelier. Can’t go wrong here. With the chandelier. Dan: Oh. Nicely done. Arin: (tries to beatbox) Chandelier Dan: Oh my god how’d you get in there. Arin: Uh… go to the door and then you hit up. Dan: (Overwhelmed by the adorableness)
OH GODDAMMIT! Arin: You wanna go up here!
Over here with me. Dan: Uh… Arin: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Dan: Yeah! Arin: Uh-huh. Arin: Yeah? Dan: Yeah. Arin: Uh-huh Dan: Ummmm… Yeah. Arin: Let’s go up here. Dan: What if they were just super gangster like… (Deep-voiced)
‘Sup. Arin (Deep-voiced): ‘Sup Dan (D-V): You kill that guy? Arin (D-V): Yeah. (laughter) (snorts and laughs) Arin: Oh man. The opposite spectrum we could possibly go to. Dan: Oh no! Arin: Oh I’m gonna turn into an umbrella. Yeaaah. Aw look at him. He’s like, “Ahhh noo!” Dan: Oh you can yank that shit back! Dan: Whoever thought of this is a real nice person. Arin: Yeah! Right! Dan: You can’t be a dick and make a game like this. Oh! That’s what that is! Arin: It’s just like the most, aggressive offensive person ever. He’s just like, “I hate every minority!” “But I love Kirby~” Dan: “Fucking JEWWWWS” Dan: Oh hey yarn~ Arin: Ooo… It’s so kawaii. Dan: What does kawaii mean? I’ve heard that term alot. Arin: It means cute. Dan: Oh is that what that means? Oh that makes sense now. Arin: But don’t get it confused with kowai. Dan: What does that mean? Arin: KA-waii is cute. KO-wai is scary. Dan: Oh fuck. Seems like a fucked up language to make those two things sound so close. Whoa! Arin: Gotta grab onto the bell. Arin: What did we get! Ahhh-owww we got two stars. WAIT! Yeah! We got the super match star! Arin: Well done. Dan: Aw man! Look at that necklace we made. Arin: Yep we made a pretty good necklace. Dan: High five! Arin: Look at me I’m dancin’! I’m dancin’! I’m having a good time! You’re just kinda like… Dan: “Yeah… alright.” Arin: …”eh he’s dancing” Dan: “It’s an okay party.” Arin: “Don’t mind my friend… I mean I’m having an okay time and all…” “…but he can get a little out of hand” Dan: “I’m just not into electronic” (Laughter) Arin: “DS2’s not my thing.” “I think he’s just kinda loud.” “But I’m not gonna judge you for liking it” Dan: “It’s okay. It’s okay.” “Everybody is entitled to their stupid opinion.” (Laughter) Arin: It’s like, “Oh thanks! Uh-wait what?” Dan: Let’s go to grassland! Arin: Yeah! Let’s go to grassland! Dan: YAAAYYY! Arin: Turn into a car and ride me! Dan: Oh my god~ Arin: Yeah so we have our own apartment. Dan: Oh stop. Arin: We can put furniture in our apartment. Dan: WHAT! Arin: Yeah. So let’s go do it. Dan: Yeah let’s do it man! Arin: Let’s go decorate our apartment! Dan: Yay! Arin: It’s so kawaii~ Dan: It’s weird because in real life I hate decorating my apartment. Arin: Yeah but in this one… Dan: But in this Kirby world, let’s do it. Arin: It’s like putting stickers in a sticker book. Look! We got a chair. UH GOD KIRBY! STOPPIT! You’re hurting my heart. Dan: I know this game really does. Arin (as Kirby landlord): “Excuse me, I have to go extort my other tenants.” (Laughter) Dan: “I have to go control the media.” “I’m Jewish you see.” Arin: So you hit start and then you can change layout. Like point the wiimote. And then you can just go place some stickers. Dan: Do it. Arin: You can choose like our chandelier. Dan: Put it right there! Yeah. Arin: You can put a king’s thrown right under the chandelier. Dan: Yeah. When did we get that? Arin: We got it in the last level. Dan: Alright! Arin: And then we can put up new wallpaper I guess. Dan: Oh my god. Nice little Saturday. We can go to Home Depot. Arin: Yeah. And then okay… there we go. Dan: It’s beautiful. Arin: And now we have a thrown in our house. You can sit in it. Dan: YEAH! Woooo! Can I swing from the chandelier? Arin: I don’t know man. Dan: No, but you know what I’ll take my rightful place as the King’s hand. Arin: Do my bidding! Get me pudding. Dan: This is great. Arin: Uh-huh. Dan: Dude. Arin: Yeah? Dan: I got three grams for twenty. Arin: TWENTY! HOLYSHIT! Dan: Not gonna lie. There’s some seeds in it. Arin: Oh… damn. Dan: It’ll getcha high though. Arin: Know what I’m thinking? Dan: What? Arin: We gotta grow our own. Dan: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH Arin (with Dan): YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH Arin: Landlord don’t check shit! Dan: Shit! Arin: Alright let’s go to grassland. Dan: For that exact reason. Yeah! Look at that happy march. Arin: I know. God I just want to live in this world. Dan: Me too! We are. We do. Arin: Ha! Look at him he’s clapping his fuckin’ mustache. (Laughter) Dan: Japan you’re the best. Arin: Alright let’s get the fuck outta dodge. Fucking landlords already on to us. Arin (as landlord): “You gonna fuck up my place, I don’t appreciate it. You know what I mean?” Dan (as landlord): “Don’t make me do this.” Arin: Yay. Fountain springs. …or gardens. Or whatever the fuck it was. Who cares? Dan: I care. Arin: You can grab those. Grab those little panels and peel them off. Like the plastic you get on technology. You know when you get new technology like a hard drive? You can peel that satisfying plastic off. It’s like Schhhuuuu. Does that shit. Dan: Oh… Let’s go in heres! Oh Jeezus Arin: Let’s fuck up that monkey. Dan: Monkey! You’re fucking dead! You’re DEAD! Arin: You’re dead to me monkey. Oh god! You turned me into a baseball! Dan: I’m sorry. Didn’t want to. Arin: I don’t want to fuck up that monkey anymore. Dan: You don’t? Arin: Nah Dan: Oh Alright. Arin: He’s too hard to fuck up. Dan: FLOWER SOFA! Arin: I want people to think that we’re fucking crazy. You know what I’m sayin’? Dan: AH You crazy people throw monkeys! Arin: I want people to think they ain’t safe when I’m around. You know what I’m sayin’? They might not die. But they might die too. Dan: Trust me they ain’t safe. They ain’t fucking safe. Dan: You know what I also like? We share all the gems that we catch. Arin: Oh yeah. Arin: It’s truly cooperative. Dan: It’s not even like we’re competing to get them. Arin: We’re just having a good time. Dan: We’re- Everything’s cool. And I’m just tossing you. In the name of friendship. Arin: I’m turning you into a baseball. You’ve always loved baseball didn’t you. Dan: T’row me at the monkey! I swear to god. That fucking monkey. I’m so tired of his shit. Arin: Take that little guy. Turn him into a ball. Dan: I’ll pull down your whole castle. Arin: Alright let’s go back up. Arin: Totally happy with the way things are turning out right now. Dan: Yeah. This game is the point… Where I… Uh… A white guy in his thirties… And uh… A fourteen year-old japanese girl… fully meet… And realize we have many things in common. Arin:
B. Kirby. Dan: That’s actually… That’s it. And perhaps the Ponponpon video. Cause I mean what the fuck is up with that video? Arin: Yeah seriously. Dan: I love it/hate it. Arin: You can appreciate it on so many different levels. Dan: Yeah. Like the level that you don’t understand which is all of it. Dan: Hey you know what? Next time on Game Grumps… We’re gonna feel good again. Arin: Hold on I’m gonna open this little zipper. Dan: Oh stop. OHHH STAWP!